Chat Room 666
by SecretSparrowTodd
Summary: What happens when Sweeney, Jack and Mrs Lovett meet up in a chat room? Future chapter may make rating go up! Terrible summary !
1. Conversation 1

**Hi! I've read a few 'what if?' Sweeney Todd parodies, so I decided to make some too, purely because I need a break from the serious stuff. So, I've decided to add some POTC characters in there just to jazz it up. This all takes place on a random chat room and this one happens to be called 'Chat Room 666' (THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST). So, read and see what you think! I really need another opinion on this!**

**Disclaimer: Nope. I do not own POTC or Sweeney Todd (because I don't get out that much xD)**

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><p><strong>Conversation 1# : Paranoia <strong>

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Hello? Is any1 online?

_(RumObsessedFreak has now joined chat room 666)_

RumObsessedFreak: Yo.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: U new?

RumObsessedFreak: Sort of.

_(RumObsessedFreak adds TheDevilsPersonalBarber to friends)_

RumObsessedFreak: Whts ur name in rl?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: I'm srry. Tht is private information. U could be sum1 aftr me!

RumObsessedFreak: Wht? Wht th hell dude? Im right outside ur shop rite now. I wuz just checkin I wuz at the rite place.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: AGH! WHT? I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! THEY'RE AFTER MEH! 0_O

RumObsessedFreak: Wht? No. I jst wanted 2 ask if u had any rum. Im all out.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: AGH NEVER! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! *_*

RumObsessedFreak: Whoa. R u high or something? O_O

_(Sweeney'sFutureAngel666 has now joined chat room 666)_

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Oh no. Mrs. L. Crp is tht u? O_O

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Heeeeeeeyy how r uuu? ;) xxx

RumObsessedFreak: Bgger. Not another high one e_e

_(TheDevilsPersonalBarber whispers to RumObsessedFreak)_: She's not high. She's just blatantly...

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Whore is R.O.F? xx

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: *Who? xx

RumObsessedFreak: Soz, can't tell u- MODERATORS!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666:Oh kk. x

_(TheDevilsPersonalBarber whispers to Sweeney'sFutureAngel666)_:Mrs L? R.O.F sez e is outside ma shop! I THINK HE IS AN ALCOHOLIC!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: LOL! Withhh a namee likee R.O.F e problee is an alcoholic! xxxx

RumObsessedFreak: O_O R U GUYS TALKIN ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: ... x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ...

RumObsessedFreak: ?

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: ... x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Yes.

_(RumObsessedFreak has now left chat room 666) _

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Y did u tell him? xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Well wht wuz I supposed 2 say?

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Nooo! DUH! xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Oh wel. E is not outside ma shop. I thnk e was lyin!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: LLLOL! GUESS WHT? xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: KITTIES WITH RAINBOWS!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Huhhh? Xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: WHT? OUT WI' IT WOMAN!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Oh. LMAO! Ther is this rlly weird looking guy lookin at meh. E sed e wanted RUM! LOL! Is e jokin or summet? I can't affrd tht! xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ... O_O

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: WHT?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Mrs L. Stay firmly in the position u r sat in now!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Wht? Y?x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Coz it is him. He is... AFTER MEH! 8O

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Oh Mr T! Ave u been to the Opium 'ouse again? xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Nooooooooo WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY xx 8)

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Mr T… xx

_(Sweeney'sFutureAngel666 has just added TheDevilsPersonalBarber to Romantic Interests)_

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH xx 8)

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: I knew it. U r soo paranooiid ! xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: IMMA ON THE HIGHHH WAYY 2 HELLLLL... xx 8D

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Omg. Ur completely stoned xD xx

_(IAmMoreEvilThanS.T has now entered chat room 666)_

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: Hello Cretins! -_-

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Hiyaa! Are u new?

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: No. Are you?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: OMG HE DON'T USE TEXT SPEAK O_O

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: OMG!

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: OMG!

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: Who is TheDevilsPersonalBarber?

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: 3Sweeney Todddd... my heart belongs with u darlinn xx 3

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: UGH.

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: Uh oh...

_(RumObsessedFreak has now entered chat room 666)_

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: Is that you Sparrow?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Lmao. Bird brain!

RumObsessedFreak: Yo. Barber guy, I must warn ye, I have a bigger weapon that I can impale u with than ur petty razors.

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Lmao. R u talkiinn bout ur big dic...

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: Wait a minute? Did you say TheDevilsPersonalBarber was Sweeney Todd?

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Yeahhhh *sigh* x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: NO. I'M A CHRISTMAS FAIRY. HULLABALOO. 8D

IAmMoreEvilThanS.T: Oh. Shit.

_(IAmMoreEvilThanS.T has now left chat room 666)_

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Who was tht? xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Dunno.

RumObsessedFreak: I know. ^_^

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: WHO xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: WHO

RumObsessedFreak: Dr WHO!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: WHT ? x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA not funnee =(

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Tell uussss lovee xxx

RumObsessedFreak: Nein. Du bist schrecklich.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: !

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Wow. U can speak German? Thatss sooooo cool ! xx

RumObsessedFreak: Danke schön.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: WHT. That's stupid!

RumObsessedFreak: *SMUG FACE*

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Well, Mr T, I think its really sexy! *wink wink* xx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: WHT? U FANCY THIS GUY? U HAVENT EVEN MET HIM!

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: E's in ma shop rite nowww ! xx

_(Sweeney'sFutureAngel666 has just added RumObsessedFreak to Romantic Interests)_

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: O_O wht.

RumObsessedFreak: BAM. U just got owned by a baker xD

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Hahaha. That's heart breaking.

_(Sweeney'sFutureAngel666 whispers to RumObsessedFreak)_: Can u speak any other languages ? xx

RumObsessedFreak: *Smiles smugly and clears throat* Sweeney'sFutureAngel666 est vraiment belle. J'adore les cheveux de Sweeney'sFutureAngel666.

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: *dies* OMG! THATS SO SWEET! xxx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Do u even know wht it means Mrs L?

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: No. But I've had a gd guess. Can u speak any other language Mr T? x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Ahem... so who wuz the dude thn?

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Sweeney. X

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: SWEEENEYYYY. Wht? Who wuz the dude?

RumObsessedFreak: Blackbeard.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Pfft. Naa. U r a LIAR!

RumObsessedFreak: *raises eyebrow* oh yeah? Thn u speak another language wise boy.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Umm...

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: dearie... x

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ...

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ... lu lu siisjdncnhjkasfhjgkhfk hdjkfh jufik jdsdchjs jkfuefkfkdsiajfsaipp

RumObsessedFreak: xD EPIC FAIL

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: And wht does tht mean Sweens? X

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ...

RumObsessedFreak: *SMUG FACE*

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ...U are better looking than Lucy.

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Ur just jealous coz I think ROF is more charmin thn u. xxx

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: =( Mrs L...

RumObsessedFreak: FAIL

Sweeney'sFutureAngel666: Aren't u? X

RumObsessedFreak: ... ?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: I'll b at the Opium House if u need me. =(

_(TheDevilsPersonalBarber has now left chat room 666) _

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><p><strong>Aww. Poor Sweeney! Please review. There may be another 'chapter' in store for you! <strong>

**SecretSparrowTodd, forever in your gratitude ;)**

**Keep writing, reading and reviewing! xx**


	2. Converstaion 2

**Another conversation because of popular demand! AWH SHUCKS! Good to know I'm not just the only one with an odd-Todd humour out there _**

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><p><strong>Conversation 2#: More visitors<strong>

_(ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants has now joined chat room 666)_

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: Hello? Does anyone happen to know where Johanna is around here? She has been missing since Monday.

xMrswilliamturnerx: Johanna? Idk hu tht is ... o.o

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: Oh. I see. Are you female? ;)

xMrswilliamturnerx: ... uh ok! lol random question! but yeah. Im a woman xD

_(IWasFreddysHottestVictim and TheKingPin have joined chat _room 666)

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Hey guys :P

TheKingPin: Hullo O_O

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: Greetings.

xMrswilliamturnerx: Wow. Chat is busy tonite lol xD And ur just a bit of a perv sexy gold pants -_-

_(*The~Bovine~Miracle* has joined chat room 666)_

*The~Bovine~Mircale*: Hi every1! How are u? OMG. Tim! Change ur name rite now O_O

TheKingPin: Oh shit. I 4got -_- haha. _ _ ._.

_(TheKingPin has now left the chat room)_

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Awkward

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: Silence?

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: LOL. Okay. So hu is hre?

xMrswilliamturnerx: MEH. I IS HERE.

_(sexybloodsucker007, TheOVERLORDofBurtonland and TheDevilsPersonalBarber have now joined chat room 666)_

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Pfft. Attention seeker.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Mmm. Well sum ppl say ur a seeker 2, Johnny...

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: ... Shit. I cnt say offensive anythin now Tims bk =(

sexybloodsucker007: My greetings, friends. I wish to learn your names ! :D

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Oh LORD SAVE US! O_O

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: Oh hush now! I will whn I've time -_-

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: Do you have time?

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: Not 4 u so piss off.

xMrswilliamturnerx: LOLZ

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Aww. How can u say tht 2 a person u avent met timmy? X

sexybloodsucker007: How does one understand this strange new language?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Ignore everything everyone else says and be selfish.

sexybloodsucker007: I see.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Actually I have just shortened a sentence. For example, "hmm I am so hungry that I could eat a horse" would be, "Hmm I'm so hngry tht I cud eat a hrse". And it is called Text Speak.

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: More like POINTLESS speak!

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Shut up you. No one cares what you think. Not after what you did to... uhm... FORGET IT.

xMrswilliamturnerx:*cough* never forgive, never forget *cough*

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: My, my. What a nasty COLD you have there. May I cure it for you?

xMrswilliamturnerx: ... lol

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: No really. I INSIST. *lodges vacuum cleaner down your throat* Now the frog won't have a bad effect on your strangely compelling beauty. :D :D :D :D

xMrswilliamturnerx: freak

sexybloodsucker007: What is going on here? I do not understand why everyone seems to have ignored my question.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: *slaps xMrswilliamturnerx in the face and laughs manically as I push the 'FULL SUCTION' button* MUA HAHAHAHAHA :D

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: You cybermurderer -_-

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: lol. This is actually quite funny.

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: *has no idea what to say* WIBBLE.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: ROFL. Hilarious NOW xDDDD

sexybloodsucker007: Hello?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: *laughs and watches xMrswilliamturnerx scream in pain as I vacuum up her breakfast* ^-^

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Inappropriate face much! Was there bacon? 0.0

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Yes. Obviously.

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Yummy. I'll let you have it xDD

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: You people are sick.

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: That's rich coming from you, Turnip. xD

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: lol

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Lolz

xMrswilliamturnerx: ROFL XDDDD

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: PMSL xDD Good one Tim ! xDDD xx

sexybloodsucker007: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE CAN SOMEONE JUST ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTION?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Yes, yes. Lol. Christ xDD

sexybloodsucker007: I do apologize for my mass breakout there. It was uncalled for. What are everyone's names?

TheDevilPersonalBarber: Sweeney...

sexybloodsucker007: Pleasure to meet you, Sweeney.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: The feelings aren't mutual ._.

xMisswilliamturnerx: My name is Elizabeth =) x

sexybloodsucker007: What a beautiful name ;)

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Ha. Don't get ur hopes up. She's bloody taken- when she wants to be that is. She'd so desperate that sometimes she purposely goes to the pervy chat rooms...

xMisswilliamturnerx: I do NOT, Sweeney!

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: She does. Jack told me.

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: My name is Johnny. I like goats :P

sexybloodsucker007: ...

sexybloodsucker007: ... I see.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: LOL. Lost for words xDD I bet he sleeps with a damn goat.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Bullshit! He sleeps with his hats and u kno it!

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: I hope everyone knows tht im still here.

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: We DO. It's just that you never get offended by anything, so long as we don't "label" you.

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Harsh but true, I guess. I bet Sweeney would sleep with his razors.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Hmm. Or Nellie when he iz friskaaay xDDD

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: LAUGH out LOUDGIRLFRIEND!

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: My God. I never thought that I would ever hear Tim Burton say those words in a sentence in my very long, pervy fictional life.

xMrswilliamturnerx: xDD U even admit ur a perv lol

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Yeah that's because its TRUE Elizabeth.

_| Last message received 40 seconds ago, at 20:38 |_

sexybloodsucker007: I think now would be the opportune moment to say "LOL".

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: Don't say "LOL" Barnabas, it just doesn't suit you -_-

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: EPIC. FAIL. You ruined the sweet awesome-ness of that "LOL" Tim O_O

sexybloodsucker007: Can we all just say our names?

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Y? How have u forgotten the ones u were told about 3 or 4 minutes ago?

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: Because he's immortal Helena. I'm pretty sure I'd keep forgetting stuff if I'd lived for over 3 centuries now.

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: WIBBLE. 8D

sexybloodsucker007: Names?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Sweeney Todd -_-

ImTooSexy4MiGoldPants: Judge Turnip ;)

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HE SPELLED HIS NAME AS A FORM OF A WILLY SHAPED VEGETABLE XDDDDDDDDDDD

ImTooSexy4MiPants: I meant, Judge TURPIN.

xMrswilliamturnerx: Pervert.

xMrswilliamturnerx: Elizabeth Turner

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Johnny Depp :P

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: My god O_O We both look very similar.

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Funny u should mention tht, Sweeney... GREAT HAIR ! ;D

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Thanks for the compliment... you hairie, beardie mannie... you...

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: Tim Burton !

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: ...Someone that is proud of who they are and is famous but is actually more "UNKNOWN" than u think -_-

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: True.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Helena.

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Helena Bonham-Carter.

ImTooSexy4MiPants: Talk about a James Bond intro xDD

_| Last message received 40 seconds ago, at 20:45 | _

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Man that was not funny.

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: LOL. YOU are HILARIOUS XDDDDD

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Oh god. Boys... does this mean...

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: YES!

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: MOVIE TIME! Okay. Well, we 3 must dash. And remember, Turnip, Todd and er- oh I daren't call you Collins in a cheeky fashion or you might suck the life outta me...

sexybloodsucker007: I will not. I respect you, fluffy haired Burton-man.

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: Alright then, Barnabas. You three- do NOT forget I can chip into your lives at any moment and make things go HAPPY...

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: OH PLEASE DON'T! IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE'S ENJOYING THE DEPRESSION OR ANYTHING.

sexybloodsucker007: Well... I am pretty certain that you are, Master Todd.

sexybloodsucker007: Well THAT shut him up :D

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: Bye Liz! x

xMrswilliamturnerx: Bye xx xx

*The~Bovine~Miracle*: See you later, Burton Boys x ;)

sexybloodsucker007: Farewell x

TheDevilPersonalBarber: Mmm. Bye.

ImTooSexy4MiPants: Oh you SHALL see ME later my curvaceous petal! Xxxx :P :P ;) ;);)

TheOVERLORDofBurtonland: -AHEM- ******HAPPINESS ******

ImTooSexy4MiPants: MY GOD! I'VE JUST CHECKED MY LOTTERY NUMBERS AND I'VE WON!

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Wow. I'm SO happy for u.

_(ImTooSexy4MiPants has left the chat room)_

IWasFreddysHottestVictim: Bye guys :D

sexybloodsucker007: Bye ;)

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Later

xMrswilliamturnerx: Bye xxxxxxxxx :D

_(, *The~Bovine~Miracle* + TheOVERLORDofBurtonland have now left chat room 666)_

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: And good riddance!

_(sexybloodsucker007 whispers to xMrswilliamturnerx): _We should meet in real life some time. I have heard that you are very pretty.

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Bloody nosey parkers the lot of 'em!

_(xMrswilliamturnerx whispers to sexybloodsucker007): _I would love tht! I'll hav to try and sneak out away from Will, but I'm sure he won't find out... so is this like a date or...

_(sexybloodsucker007 whispers to xMrswilliamturnerx): _Yes I suppose so. If you are not happy with Will... When shall we meet up for this "happening" ?

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: Mrs Lovett isn't half as bad as those three. I mean god! Mrs Lovett wouldn't know of such personal things! How do THEY know I sleep with my razors? And that one night with Mrs Lovett in my bedroom was a one off anyway... we happened to have overdosed on that Opium again! I BLAME FACEBOOK! O_O

_(xMrswilliamturnerx whispers to sexybloodsucker007):_ How about now? Will is out battling ;) x

_(sexybloodsucker007 whispers to xMrswilliamturnerx): _In that case, the restaurant by the arena, in precisely one hour and a half?

_(xMrswilliamturnerx whispers to sexybloodsucker007): _Of course! See you then Barnabas xxx

_(sexybloodsucker007 whispers to xMrswilliamturnerx): _See you then, my love x

_(xMrswilliamturnerx has now left the chat room)_

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: I have to go to Turpin's ball with her tonight -_- She expects me to be polite and smile at every1. Ha. She'll be damn LUCKY.

_(sexybloodsucker007 has now left chat room 666)_

TheDevilsPersonalBarber: How come everyone ignores me? No wonder I can't be social with people! Bloody Mrs Lovett!

_(TheDevilsPersonalBarber has left chat room 666)_

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><p><strong>Does this work? I knew I needed more people in the chat room to make it more funny and believable. What do think about Johnny, Tim and Helena being in the chat room? Do think its okay? And what about the surprise guest: Barnabas :D ? Please comment and such. Your reviews are very interesting to read!<strong>

**More humorous rubbish on the way ! :D**

**SecretSparrowTodd, Forever in your gratitude **

**-Keep writing, reading and reviewing! ;) x **


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